Friday, May 6, 2016
Regrets, I have a few: The Burger
It's no secret in my circle of friends that I love a good hamburger. They are a major staple of my diet. They're sold practically everywhere in the world, you can put any kind of topping you want on them. They come skinny and they come fat. Some are bite sized while others are stuffed with cheesy goodness. When you go into a retaurant and scan the menu you're very likely to find a burger on there just in case you don't like anything else. They are versatile and flavorful and that's why I love them but is there such thing as too much when it comes to a burger?
While exploring our new California hometown we found ourselves walking into a Southern California based burger joint called Fatburger. The name alone was sucking me in. I skimmed the menu and while others made up their minds I told my wife what I wanted and began checking my phone like so many technozombies do these days. She asked me a followup question to which I gave the typical male "grunt." You know, the one that indicates you've heard someone talking but you really weren't paying attention but you pretended to be. Most of the time it serves me well but on this day it back fired. Even now I'm not sure what was asked but when I sat down at the table she informed me that I had just ordered a burger that if consumef in it's entirey one must get their photo taken and placed on the wall of fame. At first I was shocked, then I was nervous and in the end I thought it was funny.
The XXXL Fatburger has three 1/2 lbs patties (24 oz) topped with mayo, onions, pickles, tomato, lettuce, relish and cheese. It stands roughly 4" tall and is 6" in dismeter and it is dripping, no pouring with grease. But when I held it in my hands I smiled. Not only was this a funny mishap but I was pretty sure I got this.
I'm in no way a competitive eater. I like to enjoy food and stuffing yourself to the point of discomfort or sickness is in no way enjoyable but as far as I can tell this burger was small town on the list of food challenges. I never doubted that I would finish it and really didn't get too uncomfortable. In the end only three of us at that table were impressed while I was not. In fact I felt more shame than pride. I had just consumed nearly 2 lbs. of food in one sitting while in public. We cleaned up and snuck out the door while someone called for the camera. There was no way my face was going on that wall. I still have to live here. Of course now I've put the story on the internet for all to see but you guys can keep a secret right?
Adventure comes in many ways and food is always a part of it. Whether you're preparing it out on the trail or trying out local dining experiences, it's just part of the fun. I'm now placing myself on a diet and will retire from taking food challenges. The burger was good but I'll keep the dosage smaller next time. Have a safe and fun weekend!